My aberrant thoughts

Dream come true

2007-11-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel I am a very lucky person ... I always dream ... I always dream of spending good time with nikhil,ammu,aunty and uncle ... may be sometime in my life I can go to guruvayoor with them ... All five of us traveling to a place in a car ... of late I felt that it will only be a dream of mine ... but last weekend my dream came true ... I enjoyed each and every day ... All 4 days I was like a part of that family .

But I don't know is it a good thing or not .. Now my fear is once if I fail to keep in touch with them, I will feel very sad .. Like what happened with my best friend in IBM, once she went from bangalore,I lost touch with her, I can't help it . She was one of the person who knew me inside out ...

Once one of my best friend send me a sms "never allow a girl to talk too much to u .. Else, later she will make you talk alone " . Here for a change girl is not the concern :) My concern is the the proximity to this family ... once this proximity start to reduce I won't be able to handle it ... I am very much possessive about such relationship ... Hope my worst fear don't turn into reality ... like they say in swashank " Hope is a dangerous thing .. it will make you go insane " .

Lewis you are just brilliant . .

2007-10-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

Walking through the corridors of Hilton Hotel in Montreal, I saw a big picture of a young McLaren driver in the big Wall of Hilton hotel. I was amazed to see a Mclaren driver's picture in Ferrari fort. I soon recognized him, its Lewis Hamilton .. the rookie who made a wonderful start to his F1 career by being in the podium on all the 5 races before Montreal. But little did i think what this guy is gonna provide for the entire McLaren fans.

He made the McLaren fan in me happy by winning the Pole in the first F1 Qualifiers I attended. I will cherish that wonderful moment for years when I punched the air in a sea of Ferrari supporters. I will preserve the picture I took when Lewis was doing the victory lap.

When the McLaren team was going through all the spying saga, he showed his loyalty by staying with the team unlike that traitor Alonso. Towards the end of the season he was awesome. specially in Fuji and China . He deserved to be the champion for his consistent performance over the entire season , but bad luck .... he lost by a point.

Lewis you are just brilliant .. keep going

sunday ...

2007-07-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

i skipped 4 days in my mission ... so i will explain it first ... first of all i had not many memorable experiences on wednesday and thursday, except for the fact that i missed the spanish omellete on wednesday and went for the team breakfast.During the one hour i spend there i felt very much part of the ASIC test team ... cracking jokes with DEs and STSMs ... hey thats memorable .. well i need to cut down my critereas ... over these two days I watched hollywood classic "The Untouchables" and Goal ( Not the bogus malayalam film , our very famous Santiago Munez film ).

Friday there was this Party in Madan's house ... again i felt great about my vegitarian day .. there were lot of non-veg food and Tequila , but i sticked on to my way .. felt lot great about it after that .. then at midnight went to Barnes and NObles to see some Harry Potter freaks , waiting in the cold night for a book ... and for those who hasn't read the novel , the moment i got that book in my hand, I looked at the last few pages , Poor Harry Potter was killed ... sniff..sniff ... he he kidding ....

Saturday was a shopping day for me ... spend around 200-300$ ... went from one part of the town to other with A list of things to buy for friends and relatives.Then in the evening me and Prat went for the Japanese food ... a restaurant by the name Koto .. the fun part is they will make u sit around a table and cook in front of you ... enjoyed every moment of it ....Came back and saw A few good men ... awesome movie .. i missed a lot of classics like this ..

Sunday ... cricket day ... got up and saw Fernando Alonso win European Grand prix and then went to play cricket , though i didn't get batting ... but in the field it was aq good day for me ... took two blinders , specially the second one ... a high skier against the sun ... and the day ended well ... and now while writing this , i am feeling like have some beer and do some IBM work ... so into work mode .. see you later

Tuesday 17th July

2007-07-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

13 to go ... ohh yeah i still can't believe i am gonna leave this beautiful place in another 13 days ... today was an awesome day for me ... couple of interesting things happened ...

After lunch i got a request in the issues database. Normally i buy time by asking for consoles and a testcase . this time for a change i looked up the address of the person and headed to his office to solve it personally ... on the way back i was in a hurry ... then i saw DJ ( those who know her know who she is ) .. and she was near the stairs and i slowed down seeing her ... every time i see her Babs comes in my mind and her comments .. sorry Babs ... can't help ... and then DJ opened the doors and asked ... U r in a hurry go ahead .. I just heard like .. hey Hari go ahead .. i was wondering how the hell she knows my name ... then i got it ... she might have said ur in a hurry .. but should not miss a chance ... I headed saying I thought u called my name ... for the first time i talked to DJ, even though i see her almost everyday for the last five months .

I was all set to go for the football match at 6 pm .. then around 3.30 Dave Litten came storming into my office ... hey u gonna do water skiing after work ? ... mann that sounds cool ... never done that before ... shall i ditch football .. anyway i never found playing football interesting out the HSR league, and in two week i will be back in that league. so i said yes ..went home picked up the camera and went to Lake Iroquois .. it was an awesome boat .. John wittmer ( my teammate ) is into this sport .. he went around the lake to show the skiing course and then asked who gonna go first .. no one raised their hand ... only me , Dave , Patrick ( Dave's son ) and John were there ... i said i will go .. like a dumb guy . Should have waited to see how others do it ... i then put the skies and jumped into water .. it was a nice feeling floating in water ... but u need to know u will not get drowned .. it will take a minute or two for u to digest that .. then john tried to pull me with his boat .. but everytime i will not get out of water , as i launch off i will loose either the the string or the ski ... on the 4th attempt got up a bit ... but didn't go much .. so thought will give a break and do it again .. after seeing other do well , i tried again .. no luck this time also ... so after 8-10 attempts i gave up ... then as a consolation i drove JOhn's high speed boat all over the lake, did donuts in the lake using that .... But it was a kinda nice experience ..

countdown

2007-07-17T19:07:00.001-07:00

As usual, like everyone who is coming back to India, I should also start the countdown ... but there should be a difference ... half of my mind wants to stay here while the other half wants to go back .... i can write couple of blogs siting the reasons to come back ... so i made this decision to make the remaining 2 weeks memorable .. 14 memorable days ... so today 16th monday i am going to start this series ...here we go

the day started with couple of meetings and i was thinking how in the world I can make this day memorable ... then came lunch time ... i was supposed have lunch with my friends .. but they went with their team , so i have to go with my team , so for the first time since i came here i am having lunch with my team , Dave Litten and Rick Grupp .... after lunch we went for a walk and being lazy guys me and Dave came back after half way through ... then while walking back we were discussing about something and then i told him about Nag leaving IBM for doing MS .. then he said hey can we sit somewhere down and talk .. and we did that

He was telling like nag did a good thing ... he asked whats ur plans about the future .. you should also do MS. then i told him all my reasons why i don't want to do it ... then after hearing everything he said this is one of the reasons y he didn't do his MS ... then we talked about family and all ... at the end of the talk he told me , he will talk again to my manager abt extending my stay, which is an unlikely thing ... but that talk was kinda memorable one for me ..

go aussie go

2007-05-07T16:51:00.000-07:00

Couple of days before the Worldcup final while I was browsing through orkut I saw my childhood friend's (Biju) profile ... while going through the profile it took me back to my school days were both of us were hard core Aussie cricket fans ... A kid learning the basics of cricket all of a sudden becoming an Aussie cricket fan !!! sounds weird ... but when I look back now I realise I become an Aussie fan mainly because of my love for my brother, as we used to play cricket against each other and I always allow him to pick India ... Later on I started following Aussie cricket closely .. and In school we ( only me and Biju ) used to tell we are members of Aussie cricket fan club ...

Back to Aussie cricket ... every sports fan would enjoy watching the team they love when there is an air unpredictability in the way they play their game ... everyone loves excitement ... for me Australian cricket team gave plenty of moments like that when I was an Aussie cricket fan till 2000 ... their adventures in carribean (94), in south Africa (97) and two awesome worlcups ( 96 and 99 )... I remember I was hopeful till the last moment in the Edgbaston Semifinal that Aussies will go past South Africa ... but post 2000 they failed to provide the excitement they used to .. they became more and more predicable ... and boring to watch .

While I was an Aussie cricket fan I wanted to play cricket alongside an Aussie .. may be late on now I am able to realise my dream , as I play along side Gerard an Aussie working in Burlington ... A day before the final when I was going to Boston to watch Australia play in the final , I wished him good luck and told him ... "Go Aussie go" ...and I was going back to the childhood days .. "Go Aussie go "

Kunji .... Sorry mole

2007-03-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

I never thought my sister loved me so much ... when she asked me why I didn't call her all these days , I was stuggling for words. infact throughout the phone call I was like that ... and she kept on asking me why you didn't call me ? you called everyone else, this morning also amma told me I call her ... I could feel tears in my eyes .... I tried to put a brave face, by asking what else,how are u .. how is life and all ... sort of escapism , but she was still asking that question throughout the phone call ... all these years I always had a nice feeling after calling my sister but not this time ... she was trying to pass all her sadness to me for not talking to her for weeks , and to a large extent she is right .
what ever difference you have with ur sister, what ever mistake she do , end of the day she is still my little sweet sister ... I should not have hurt her .... sorry kunji

an eventful weekend ...

2007-02-05T17:53:00.000-08:00

life is always like this ..... as mithu says like a sine wave ... full of ups and downs . my last weekend was also like that ... the sine wave went up when I went with nag to buy the car ... the car which nag looked and bargained when he was looking for one .... may be I was destined to buy that, think thats why it was there for two months and the dealer wanted to sell it off .... so I got a good deal... and I got a Hyundai Sonata car without a vermont license , and insurance .... kept it in front of the apartment, as a decoration .... every time I see it, I want to drive it ... may have to wait till I get the license ... may be in a couple of weeks time .

Never had a dull moment during my stay in US ... never felt home sick .... mainly bcoz of Nagya nad Viju ... they have been awesome ... Nag as usual with all his comedies and help... Viju with all the care and affection, reminding me of Ammu ... Infact I am enjoying my time here ...

As usual the negaive half of sine wave should come sometime .... I got up into an argument with ammu over the phone ... for the first time I made my sister cry ... I was very upset .. infact I also cried after that ... I have always tried to keep her happy, even if I feel sad about something, I will not let her know. she was one of my best gifts in life... I felt bad abt myself after making her cry.Life is always this ... you can't take it for granted.

Naiju ….

2007-01-22T01:36:00.001-08:00

One of the first few friends I had in IBM. She is an extremely funny person, with nice sense of humor and a big heart… She is of those few friends I have to whom I can say anything which she takes in the right spirit and gives back …

The day I got her into all sorts of trouble by sending her a mail from her yahoo which she forget to log off from my PC … but she is one of those few friends I have who just says “poda patti” even if I makes a mess of her yahoo address book or her IBM badge or chapels …

She always has this close up smile showing her 32 teeth... ;) Which is always a nice to see … its sad that I won’t be here to attend her marriage... but I’m quite sure by the time I came back she will remain the same old Naiju I know who will call me “poda” and kick my leg by the side ..will miss u naikarim

Mithu

2007-01-19T23:56:00.000-08:00

six months may not be a long period .. thats how long I know her . but for me thats like a long period ... its like I know her for long.

She is one of the nicest friends I ever had ... though she may tell others that she is not very cool , I hav never felt the same .. the more I get to know her, the more I like her personality ... She used to be in office late when I was waiting for getting the petition updates during the torturing one month I was behind the petition. she tried to console me, when I was feeling frustrated about the delay in getting the petition, by tell all her fundas of sine wave ... " the negative half of sine wave " ... like my life is gonna soar to heights like a sine wave .. she was like that .

She is kind of person with lot of energy ... should have known her before ... had only 6-7 months in company of her ... but life is like this .. if god gives u friends like this don't complain about the period of time . Enjoy the time you have with them ... philosophy from me .. ;-) .. she is one of those person who used to have patience to hear philosophical talks like this of mine ..

Pakya used to tell " out of sight is like out of mind" ... I'm sure good friendships like this will slowly disappear once you are all out of sight ... but the one I have with you,Mithu won't go from my mind ... :)

12 Days to go

2007-01-12T03:05:00.000-08:00

Another boring day in office ... things were not working for me ... my scripts are not running well .. I am missing something in them ... desperately need Nagya's help in this ..

Had good kerala food with the lunch gang .. they all liked it very much it seems... we had a nice time there ... was looking forward to submit the papers for getting the BEP covering letter for VISA interview.but the travel people are saying I need to submit it on monday. Had they told this when I applied for an interview date, I could hav got it earlier ... bogus people.

Waiting for Pakya .. he is gonna visit IBM. need to go early ... MR is leaving for US tonight ... mann I can see him only after a long time. :( .. never know I can see him in US ... 12 days to go now .. countdown started.

Anju

2007-01-11T03:24:00.000-08:00

Rahul's phone is ringing ... an unknown number ... gives it to him
Rahul : "its Anjana ... "
Anjana : " hari .. my marriage is fixed. its on december 30th .. u will come rite ?"

Ohh no . I have promised to go to see my sister that day . what should I say ? . I was virtually shocked .

Me: " when is the marriage ?"
she: " May 12th ... "
Me : " whats the guy doing ?"
she: " He is working as a manager in sweeden .. done his MBA in edinbrough ... studied in Vineeta's college. ... Hari u will come rite ? .. u cannot come for my marriage ... so u hav to come"

I was in two minds ... was happy that she is getting married, I know she was sad abt not getting married, though she was not showing it ... and was sad that she will be leaving us

I finished the call saying that I will try ... I was in my uncle's place and while travelling from there to home, I was thinking about what should I do . I won't get a chance to see that guy in near future if I don't go now . I was also thinking about the fact that I will miss her after her marriage . Was she that dear friend of mine ?

there was a time when I used to think there will never be a girl who will be a close friend of mine. doesn't mean I don't hav girls as friends . she is one of those few friends who tried hard to understand me and was succesful too ... infact she was too good that she could read my mind. Infact she knows too many secrets ( which a dangerous thing ... :) ) ...

Infact through out my entire tenure in IBM , she was one of the persons whom I discuss all my personal problems and she used tell that she was the Agony aunt ... she knows me inside out , better than my mother .. which speaks volume for the kind of relationship we have ...

we would have been brother and sister in the previous life , I am sure .. thats y we have such intimacy without blood relationship ... Will dearly miss u anju .. don't clearly remember the last time I called u like that .. Thanks a lot for all the good moments u gave me as a nice friend and a sister ..

Ps: Syla aunty used to say u shouldn't say thanks between sisiters and brothers ... so u can discard the thanks ... he he

Kenne

2007-01-11T02:49:00.000-08:00

when I joined IBM, I saw a silent reserved person sitting behind an indoor plant as if he is hiding from the managers ... I never thought even in the wildest of my dreams that this person will become one of my close friends in my friend.

We chatted in the begining on football and other sports as he was the only person who was genuinely interested in that sport around me at that time. we used to chat a lot about EPL, Real madrid and all sorts of sports. that was the begining of it. He taught me a lot of things in life from IBM ways to English usages to Burlington life to cryptic crosswords. slowly I realised my life is getting more and more influenced by his approach to life. He is the one who taught to me to go out of your way to help your friends . I have countless memories of time spent with you ... they are priceless and they won't get erased from my mind.

For others you are my friend and my senior in IBM, few know what I have found over the last two years. I have found loyalty.you have pulled for me in the office and also in life . I have found inspiration.you have willed me to succeed sometimes even in my lowest moments and I have found generosity .You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could have never reached without you

I have never felt any difference between college life and IBM life , thanks mainly to you. All these months in IBM , I was there where I wanted,when you were with me .... I am gonna miss you dearly Kenny .

I'm stopping here,otherwise tears will roll down my cheeks ... same kinda feeling I felt when I gave u a last hug ... thats why I left the office after that ... I knew I may break down if I stayed for long

friend or love

2006-12-25T08:41:00.000-08:00

I know I need to carry on with my life ... but in the corner of my mind I dont wanna lose her ... perfect example of dileama ...

Most people like to marry a girl whom they will fell in love . but to fell in love is a different thing all together .. there are basically to ways in which you may love a girl . from day one you meet the girl, you may hav a strong crush for the girl and u will try all u can to impress her and then try hard to turn the track to love. this is one kind . the second one is the most rare thing , you will become close to a girl, know her indepth over a period of time and then slowly you realise one that she is more than a friend or someone special to you. .. she is of the second kind .

But as always you won't get things for free ... I know its a difficult thing to marry her ... not becoz she is not compatible to me ... I don't thing I will get a girl as good as she ... there are a lot of practical difficulties . think I hav given enough hints to her .. and I think she is intelligent enough to get that .... but her responses were negative .. don't know whether my interpretations were bad ... never know . but the truth is that I don't wanna lose a friend like her,which is forcing me not to make a move forward . and I don't know how she will react.

But once I will tell her, I loved her very much once ... but when ? I want to tell before I fly to US. ... Don't know whether I will be able to tell her ... letsee

ps: anand don't make pj comments to this blog ... kidding ...:)

why she did this to me ?

2006-12-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

scene 1: me and my brother are having our dinner outside ...
me : " need to make a call to US .... need to check the status of my Petition"
bro : " call from the mobile ... " ( which I don't have in my mobile )
Giving a try at the number 0019195436353 .... byhearted the number it seems ... I have dialled this number a 100 times over the past one month ... obviously , anyone would have byhearted it by then .
After 4 dials I cut the phone ...
me : "she is not in office ".
bro : "how u know ?"
me : " she used to pick the phone at the first dial if she is in the office ."
I am so used to her ways. for the past 2-3 weeks I call her daily.I know the time she gets to office . how to get any messages if she is not in office by 11 am their time and all ....

Scene 2: Thinking of checking my office mails ... when I checked my mails , I saw a mail from Sanjay kothari whom I tried to contact first regarding my petition and couple of mails from my manager.As I opened, I got the biggest shock I got in my life ... my petition was only filed on dec 14th and the person I used to contact regarding this was dismissed ... for a while I don't know what was happening to me ... lot of things went through my head ... felt like crying.

For the whole of last two three weeks. I used to go to the office mainly to call this lady in the evenings. Though it was frustrating, I was composed and calm,thinking anyway I will get this sooner or later . A hope ... which was fast deteriorating ... whenever I used to call her she used to give me a date with upmost genuinity and I believed in her words ... she admitted that she send a wrong form in Nov and she resubmitted the papers with the updated form .... and assured it will be okie anytime . she later said she resubmitted everything on Nov 16th ... and like a dumb person I believed in it .

My office life was getting bored as long wait for calling her ... I tried coming late ... staying late till I get any answer from her .. she was looking extremly genuine to me. the last week I didn't get a chance to call her ... she was not coming to office till 10 pm my time and I will leave the office . Now when i read the mails from the manager I realised , she made a real mess of my petition . she is dismissed ... now there is a new person handling it ... now I have to track him ... really wonder why she did this to me ? .... she delayed the whole processing for almost 2 months . all my dreams of enjoying X'mas and Newyear with Nagya, Sugs,Prit vanished ...

as soon as I read the mail, I saw Nagya in ST . As I chatted with him and later with Mithula, Sajay and then towards the end Sugs I felt a lot relieved ... really I should thank these people for their suport ... not mentioning kenne , who though makes fun of all these situations was building that hope in me ... like when I lost the hope of celebrating X'mas and Newyear in btv, he was saying like think of celebrating Pongal in btv .. :) ... Mithu ... my late office companion during my wait for the US calls regarding this and her potrayal of this condition as the -ve part of Sine wave ... Mithu, sine wave is going from -ve to -ve ... can't help ... My roomates, without them I would have gone down in this situation ... they change my mood when I reach home ... totally a festive one with lots of fun ... will miss this when I go to US .

But still the big question is why she did this to me ? why she delayed my petition ... whatever I won't forget this name in my life and it will be remainder when I deal in such cases .....

" Tracey Tucker"

HOPE

2006-08-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I saw Shawshank redemption . Many people suggested me about watching this movie . everyone was saying its a sort of must see . Now I realise that they were true . The catch line of the movie was "Fear can hold you prisoner .. HOPE can set you free" . which is true

Long back I was looking for a signature for my mail . while searching in the net I got this line and I put it as my signature . I remember my roommates used to make fun of me saying , you don't know the film yet u put it as ur signature. It was around that time me and my mentor in the US Dave was trying for my US trip . He tried a lot , over a period of about six months to get me there . But it was in vain since there was no funding.

In April or may this year while chatting with Dave I was saying that I don't think I can come over there anymore becoz of this outsourcing and all . By then I have changed my signature . then Dave told me " Don't feel down . I know u believe in hope . Hope about coming here " . Like a Morgan freeman dialogue in Shawshank redemption. Sure he might have noticed my signature.I didn't believe in that . But he did .

He made a last effort . Assigned me some new works for which I will be the sole responsible person and convinced the managers there and when I was least expecting a US chance he got me one. His hope won .when I saw Shawshank redemption for the first time I realised that HOPE is not a dangerous thing, its a wonderful thing . Always Hope for the best .

"Fear can hold you prisoner .. Hope can set you free"

Palakkad trip

2006-06-06T04:32:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for this one for a month .... don't know why I am always excited when I go to that part of the world. Need to think about that soon .. :) . This time around it was my best friend Nikhil's House warming. It can't be termed as His house warming , rather it was like my house warming. From Stone laying to house warming I was a part of it. Do vividly remember the Stone laying ceremony where only me, him , Uncle and Aunty were there ... So this trip was a special one for me ....

the initial planning was that Nikhil will come down to kollam and along with him me and Vishnu will drive to Palakkad where One of our friend Rajesh will join us. The idea was good and fine till the a week to go for the trip when the bogus Project Manager of Nikhil rejected his leave .. :( . Back to thinking boards and me and Vishnu rescheduled the trip to such a way that we will go to Guruvayoor and on the way we will pick up Rajesh and NIkhil will come on the eve of house warming which was on Wednesday . So our trip started on Sunday

Sunday :
Started drive at 5 am and went to Cochin Airport to pick Rajesh up and set out to Guruvayoor . We thought we will see a movie in thrissur and will reach Guruvayoor by 3 pm but we reached Thrissur at 9.30am and the shows will start only at 12 and it was raining like anything so we decided to go to Guruvayoor and take room and settle down. We went to the temple at 6 pm and it was drizzling so there was less crowd and we got a good dharsan and we came back to room and slept so that we can go early in the morning for Nirmalyam ( supposed to be the best pooja )

Monday :
Saw India loosing cricket match in the morning and went to the temple to watch Nirmalyam and went to a nearby temple ( Mammiyoor ) which is a favourite of mine . Our two day stay in Guruvayoor can be briefed into Temple dharshan - Fooding -sleep . Only other thing we did was seeing the film Vadakkumnadhan which was awesome .

Tuesday :
We set out for Palakkad in the morning . our plan was to visit Vadakkumnadhan temple in thrissur on the way. when we reached there it was drizzling but as we got into the temple it staretd pouring as if rain was waiting for us .. :) but the darshan we got was truely out of the world experience . Don't know why I am now -a - days getting more and more attracted towards Lord Shiva . We reached Palakkad at around 10 am and we went top the new house rather than going to his ancestral home . that day we spent most of the time in the new house as Uncle was doing a lot of things for the function and we were helping him. In the evening we went to Coimbatore to receive Nikhil and we drove back . When we came back the reactions in face of uncle and Aunty on seeing him was unexplainable ... felt envy for him as I was not close to my parents like that. We went to their tharavadu and slept there .

Wednesday :
Though we woke up in the morning at 4 am since there was no power supply we reached the new house a bit late by then the poojas were over ... :( .. That day I enjoyed a lot and it will be one of my best days in life . we were like the members of that family and in the morning one of our friend Praveen also came and we were taking photos , meeting people . We slept in the new house that night and that experience was unforgettable . I was getting more closer with my sister ( Nikhil's sister Ammu) . both of us were teasing each other . She was consoling me when I was getting sad at some moments ... :-) Really I was experiencing the love and care from a sister that day . Was thanking god for giving me such brighter moments in life .

Thursday :
We went to their tharavadu and we were supposed to leave the place after lunch . One the way I had heated but a friendly debate with Vishnu and Ammu about a girl I like . Both of them urging me to drop the case bcoz of the consequences ... the one thing with Vishnu that I always like is the that He will argue against anything with me and at the end of that He will tell " whatever decision u take , whether it is good or bad I will be with u " ..... We reached their place and had lunch and left that place after some 5 days of good memories .... :)

Looking back at the trip how was it ? there was a lot of good and bad effects

--> I enjoyed like anything
--> Got the love and care Uncle and Aunty which was not new though :)
--> spent some memorable moments with my sister but which had a missing feeling after I left the place
--> As Usual was down after seeing a person
--> was subject to the anger of my parents for spending too much days there and subsequently they called off a function which was supposed to be there in that weekend .. ( don't care and is insignificant when compared to the love of the sister )

Birthday

2006-04-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

If I trace back my memory to find which was my happiest day last year,My Birthday will surely find a place in top 10 if not in top 5.

I was so happy that day. I was wished by almost all of my friends and my relatives who are close to me and even bypersons whom I didn't even expect to wish me. I felt like on top of the world that day.An year gone and another B'day came and I came back to earth :) . I was back home in kerala and since I got lot many calls and messages last year, I was expecting such this time also... May be I was taking things for being granted ..

I remmeber before I went to sleep it was so hot that I was sweating and there was no power supply. So I was browsing through my phone book to see who all will call me. I just made a small list in mind which was long enough and I was sure by midnight someone will call me. nut when the power supply came I soon fell into deep sleep and in the sub consious mind I knew someone called me but when I woke up I realised it was my roomates but it was too late and it was morning :-)

Through out the day I got calls and messages from a lot of friends, the first call was from a friend in Pune who was with me in Bangalore. It was really a surprise for me. I didn't know that there are a lot of surprise instake for me ................

I got calls from my close friends in Bangalore and Kollam, some of them tried two or three times at my home number before trying my mobile number which was on roaming. But the surprise thing was that I didn't get any call from a few of my friends whom I think are close to me. One of whom I call day in day out . Second one is a guy whom I should excluded from the list which I made earlier, since he is a sort of guy who doesn't make such calls . Those who did get a chance to call me included some persons whom I called at midnight during their B'Days.
Amoung them the first guy I mentioned was most surprising and hurting as far as I am concerned.

I am always of the opinion that we should learn from our mistakes . I think last year thing was a surprise phenomena meanwhile all my earlier B'Days were like this and even worser. So I was expecting a lot and I learned a lesson from this to scale down the no. of persons whom I call to wish the B'Day . Maybe a few of them deserves it :)

Real Madrid

2006-03-09T03:53:00.000-08:00

May 25th 1998 --- The first time I was watching a European Football match . It was a Champions League (CL) final . I saw a team in white jersey winning the match by a single goal from Mijatovic . Its always like that we will love that team and that love is still in me even after 8 years and that team is REAL MADRID F C . A team which has given me happy moments , sometimes thrilling and even very sad moments .

1999: --- I saw only few matches of this team since ESPN and STAR sports were not that popular in my home town during that time and the DD network will air only finals of CL . I saw some highlights of Real playing in league whenever I visited my Uncle's house who has access to ESPN and STAR .

2000: --- This time around I could get to see ESPN and STAR and they were showing enough football . But we could see only CL matches and highlights of Spanish league. This year was a wonderful year for Real in every sense . They were playing so bad in the La Liga that they were in middle of the table. In CL also they were not that impressive . Even in the second round of CL they lost Bayern Munich twice and that too by margins of 4-1 and 4-2. After the Bayern match the situation was like that to play next year's CL they need to win it that year. Then I saw the true character of that team and I started adoring the players of the likes of Redondo, Mcmanaman, Raul , Morientes ... Still I rate them more than the so called " Galaticos " the exception being Zizu Zinedine Zidane . when it came to knockout round the things changed, they beat Manchester United and Bayern Munich to reach the finals . The Quaterfinal leg in Manchester was a classic and the goal created by Redondo was one of the greatest assist I have ever seen . When it came to CL final it was coinciding with my Maths Entrance exam .. on the same night. But couple of weeks before that ESPN got disconnected from our Cable network which was good since I was able to write the entrance exam well and when I came back after exam I realised from internet that Real Madrid won the final to become European champions beating Valencia comprehensively by 3-0 . But the thrill of seeing the team you support lifting the CL trophy live is something different. I saw the hightlights later some time though I saw the goals in the news .

2001:--- The start of Galaticos reigme and that of Fiorentino perez . I was happy to see Figo in our team though the team didn't play well in the CL that year and lost out to Bayern in knockout phase .. revenge for previous year . it was like that in CL the winner of Real - Bayern match determined the winners of CL and Bayern eventually went on to win that year's CL. But it was a good year in La Liga. we beat Barcalona in Nou Camp which is like my all time dream. even now I dream it which is the dream of every Real Fan. They eventually won the La Liga and the last time .. hope they will repeat it next time ;-)

2002: -- The arrival of god " Zidane" to Bernabeu ... Before that I used to hate Zidane when he was playing in Juve ... and I didn't get a chance to see much of his skills. He began to give sort of display of skill , the dribilling which was a treat to watch . Then slowly he became my favourite player in the side. Though Deportivo won the La Liga with Real finishing second , it was a good year in CL . We won the CL for the nineth time . It was a good performance . We beat Bayern again by virtue of a Geremi away Goal in Munich. We beat Barca in the semifinal and I remember Mcmananman and Zidane scoring in Nou Camp . In the final Real met Bayern Leverkusen. That match will be remembered for the Zidane overhead volley goal which won the CL and last minute heroic saves from Iker Casillas too . I was watching Real win the CL live for the first time ... I don't remember how many times I punched the air that night.

2003: --- Season started with the signing of Ronaldo from Inter Milan. The first half of the season was a good one with Ronaldo and Raul scoring lot of goals . The CL campaign ended in the SemiFinals against Juventus . But in the QuaterFinals Real had a good Victory against Manchester United. Ronaldo scored a hatrick in Manchester, thought they won the match 4-3 by virtue of two late Beckham goals. In La Liga Real was fighting with Real Sociedad and it came to the last match where Real won to lift the La Liga . But days after that Perez Reigme sacked the coach Del Boshque since he failed to win CL . there started the problems in Real Madrid. They didn't sign a new contract for Fernando Hierro making him leave the club with empty hands. There was growing speculation regarding Beckham joining the club.

2004: --- David Beckham joined Real Madrid from manchester United . But I think this was the biggest mistake Perez made . He had an option to sign Ronaldinho, but he thought of the merchandise sales . Perez also signed Carlos Quiroz who was Assistant coach in MANU . That season Real played with very badly and Real got some psuedo supporters along with Beckham . The only one good thing Beckham's transfer did was that La Liga was telecasted regularly on star sports . before that only important matches like Real - Barca match were only shown. The management gave Morientes on loan to Monaco which turned out to be a bad thing as his goals sank the CL hopes in the semifinal . I remember watching that match in my hostel in a sort of hostile atmosphere where only a friend of mine and me were Real supporters . Though we were in first four in La Liga it was a terrible year for Real and Quiroz was sacked after that.

2005: --- This year it was totally chaos in Madrid . We had sort of three managers and by the time Luxembergo got charge of the team our team had no chance in La Liga . Perez bought Micheal Owen from Liverpool . and Walter Samuel from Roma . Samuel used to do good job in Roma but I have never seen him doing that in Madrid. Real sold Makelele to Chelsea which turned out to be cruicial as we lost a ball winner. Real lost to Juventus again in CL quaterfinals. Real had another year without any trophies. though towards the end of the season the team was playing well . Luxembergo signed Graverson which made a difference since Real didn't have any ball winners in the midfield. He also signed Woodgate but he was out injured most of the time. Luis Figo was not included in the lineup towards the end of the season and it was certain that he was going to Inter along with Solari who was playing well in the left side of midfield.

2006: --- Another bad year without trophies as La Liga is almost lost as Barca is having a 10 point lead. Luxembergo was sacked in the middle of the season. Due to the lack lusture performance channels stopped airing the matches live. Lost to Arsenal in CL pre quaterfinals . Bought a defender in Sergio Ramos .. remembered for the red cards he won, he is young will improve and strikers in Baptista and Cassano. The best signing was the brazillian attacking midfielder Robihnio . I am sure he will be a star in the future. Real lost to Barca in Bernabue after long time. and atlast ... atlast Fiorentino Perez resigned ..... hope it will do some good for the team

All these 8 years Real Madrid has given me a lot good and bad moments to remember ... how will the team perform in the future ? Can they bring back the lost glory ? ..... hmmm ... I think Real can bounce back ... for that they need to make some smart moves .
--> Ronaldo is planning to move next season .. good thing ... he is no more the brilliant striker now ... he has put on weight as some one said to me His mind is reaching the ball but his body is not.
--> Try hard and sign Ballack who is on free transfer. He also wants to join Real
--> Get a good coach and stick with him for atleast a couple of seasons ... of the likes of Benitez or Capello
--> Get a solid defender rather than going for make shift options
--> Don't loose Casillas as he is Real's last defender of the last few years.
--> Get a good creative player of the likes of Xabi Alonso to fill the place of Zidane

And keep the fingers crossed ... I am sure the fans who are still supporting Real were Real fans before the Galaticos period .... The Real Fans will be saying this in the coming years

"Halla Madrid"

Relationships

2006-03-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

When I saw Dil Chahta Hai recently again ( I don't remember how many times I saw tht) , I got caught to a dialogue between Akshay Khanna and Dimple kapadia where she says " This life is so strange that there are some relationships which cannot be given a name ". After I heard that dialogue I was thinking about a such relationship I have.

This regarding my attachment with the family of one of my best friends . I am close to the families of lot of my other friends, but this one is certainly a different one. I cannot give a name to this relationship . I am close to his father and mother like what I am with my father and mother , even sometimes I have even felt thatI am more close to his mother than I am with my mother. I don't know which force is attracting me towards them ... may be some eternal relationships.

I used to be very sad for not having a sister before. I used to give god gaallies sometimes for not giving a sister which is one most wonderful gifts from god...I think so. Now I don't have that feeling, ever since I met his sister. From her I got the love and care which I would have got from a sister if such a person was there . I am happy to say that I got a wonderful sister in her .

Two months back I went to his father's house construction site to help him rather to see the construction ;-) .. there we went to lot of places and each and everyone keep asking whether I was his son ( since they haven't seen him ) ... and uncle was replying he is just "like my son " ....

I think this is the situation which I was mentioning about in the begining ... I am wondering, do we have a name for such relationships ?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2006-03-06T06:22:00.000-08:00

I always had the habit of making friends .... Thing is that If I analyse the friends I have, those friends who are close to me are not whom I delibrately tried to make friends . Sounds confusing right ? . let me explain it . In my whole life I tried to make some people friends , but from my experience I found it out those don't last for long. meanwhile in course of life some acquaintance will develop into deep friendship . you won't know that till it becomes so deep.

I got some friends in that catergories when I started working in Bangalore. Some friends whom I live with in my house . We all were staying in as Paying Guests for the first 3-4 months. At the end of that period we were thinking about renting a house and moving out. there were abt 10 people in that PG. I knew only some 4 of them before I came here , those who were in my college and one was my roommate in hostel and other 2 my classmates. We were first thinking of taking two seprate houses of the whole 10 people . But some people were insiting on staying together which turned out to be a nice thing that has happened to me in my life ...

We some how got a house which can accomodate these 10 people . But now I can proudly say due to the initiative taken by some people at that time I got some friends which by I cannot get anywhere else even if I deliberately pick and choose . Now I cannot think of living seperately in two houses . Once I was talking about the wish of going onsite and one of my roommates told me you can go onsite sometime later , only now we all can stay together. Later I came to know that he had more than one chance of going onsite but he wants to stay with us . That was so touching ... where will you get such friends ?

Meanwhile in my bangalore life I intentionally made some friends . I don't know whether in a longer run I can maintain that friendship or not . even if I try to maintain that , the friends I got in such a manner will maintain that .... will they ?

Atlast

2006-03-06T05:10:00.000-08:00

I used to smile at people who post there blogs, though I used to read some people's blogs . But atlast I too fell into this trap of writing blogs :-)

Just like in any award function I am doing a thanksgiving job to start of with .. I thank all those friends who are reading this delirious work . I thank Sugz for pointing me to this blog spot. I thank Lotus SmartSuite for providing vocabulary support. and for IBM for giving me ample time for me to write these blogs and last but not least my boring and aberrant life.

From tomorrow onwards I will try my level best to write in my blogspot regularly.